The Birth of FTF

 

Ahhh. The humble beginnings of "F&%k Them Folks". I can remember it like it was yesterday.

Actually, I probably said it yesterday. LOL!

"F&%k Them Folks," or "FTF," was birthed in the early stages of my healing journey. Yup, cussing helped me heal. LOL! Most of who I was at that time was created by the feelings and thoughts of others. I didn't want to offend anyone. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to do IT right (whatever "it" was at the time). 

But people's opinions were in conflict with the woman I needed to become to be happy. Every time I did some healing work, I would find myself thinking, "What will THEY think if I stop showing up for family functions?" or "What will THEY say if I focus on spirituality?" I found myself in a battle between my Authentic Self, and the Self that wanted to be accepted. 

My truth, at that time, was that I was broken. Horribly broken. Traumatic event after traumatic event left me with a diagnosis of PTSD. I also suffered from depression and anxiety. I hated life. I didn't WANT to hate life, but I did. Everything that happened seemed to physically, mentally, or emotionally hurt. And it usually made my life worse. 

So, I began to study the law of attraction, which says positive thoughts bring positive results, and negative thoughts bring negative results. I also read the book, As a Man Thinketh, by James Allen, which teaches the relationship between our thoughts and their consequences. I studied the law of cause and effect which says that for every effect, there is a cause, and for every cause there is an effect. But I still couldn't figure out what I was doing to attract these things to me. What negative thoughts was I having? What thoughts were creating those horrific experiences? What was the cause? What was I doing wrong?

I began to do shadow work (a subject I will discuss more in a later blog entry). In a nutshell, I had to visit some childhood experiences to find the source of my adult behaviors. I soon realized that even though these people were probably treating me as they had been treated, and they probably didn't know their behaviors would affect me well into my adulthood, they hurt me. And not just a few people. Almost every adult responsible for my upbringing neglected, abandoned, abused me in one way, shape, or form. 

And the results of that treatment showed up as soon as I left home for college. My earliest adulthood decisions resulted in me neglecting, abandoning, and/or abusing myself. I was familiar with those feelings. And, although I didn't like feeling that way, I did not know how to NOT feel that way. So my subconscious replicated what was familiar. 

I soon came to the realization that I was making decisions based off of what I thought about myself and about life. The men I dated, the way I managed money, even whether or not I went to work was based on a narrative I was conditioned to believe. I thought that narrative was true. Almost everything I did had its roots in pain. I subconsciously believed I was unworthy of love. I was unworthy of consistency. Life had to be hard. Money would always evade me. Happiness would be fleeting, and I would only truly experience being happy if it came through someone else.

One day I finally realized, "Wait. Do I want my life to be contingent upon what other broken people modeled for me? Their reality to be mine? And the only reason I haven't changed it is because I'm worried about what they will think of me? Oh, hell no! F&%K THEM FOLKS!"

And there was the birth of FTF. I'm glad I said it.

This blog will focus on how to release the expectations of others. That is the type of healing that allows you to honor your truth. It is healing that is not contingent upon the approval of others. It's healing that will cause people you thought loved you to walk away, but the healing that draws your soul tribe to you. The kind of healing where you learn to love yourself unconditionally. This type of healing will require you to say "FTF". Often. And you'll say it until you can live freely without concern of who is or isn't happy with your life.

In this blog, I would also love to include scenarios you are going through. Yes, you! If you are in a situation where you are not sure if you should follow your gut or the wishes of someone else, send me an email to ayexpressions@gmail.com, Subject: Should I say FTF? I will anonymously share your situation and respond here on the blog. I look forward to your submissions!

BTW, FTF.

My name is Sheronda Barksdale aka Empress She'. I am a Spiritual Life Empowerment Coach and the name of my company is Authentically Your Expressions. I provide individual, group, and couples coaching. I specialize in shadow work, chakra alignment, relationships coaching, and other spiritual practices that help you live your most authentic life. Visit my website: at www.authenticallyyourexpressions.com.

Feel free to contact me, or share your "Should I say FTF?" stories at ayexpressions@gmail.com.

Favorite quote (outside of "F&%K Them Folks) is: "Express Yourself. Authentically."

Visit our website today to get your "FTF" T-shirts!